Yesterday's post explored the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger as a way to begin to understand emotional eating. When we use food as a way to deal with emotional needs, we create a vicious cycle; the food temporarily brings us a 'full' feeling, but at a cost as we usually create a second emotional response of guilt and remorse. Perhaps one of the most conscious ways to end emotional eating is to promote and choose ways to reduce overall stress. Second

To some extent, we can all fall prey to emotional or mindless eating. Sometimes, the food is right in front of us and it tempts us into having some, hungry or not. But what happens when emotional eating becomes our go-to? Stressed? Reach for something to satisfy. Sad? Reach for something to feel comforted. Bored? Where are the chips? When we are dealing with a negative emotion, it tends to create an empty feeling inside of us . In order to try and 'fill' that emptiness, we

I recently heard the saying "Feelings are time travellers," and I resonated with how true that statement is. It explains how, when just by thinking about sitting on the sandy shores of Ogunquit Beach in Maine, I can feel a sense of peace within. It also clearly explains my instant reaction of tears when the first few notes of "The Prayer" by Celine Dion comes on the radio, as it is a song I deeply associate to my mom. Feelings, when triggered, have the ability to bring us ba

In our last post about Emotional Intelligence, we look at the fifth component of EI: Social Skills . When we think about social skills in the context of emotional intelligence, it is about the art of being able to effectively communicate with others, being influenced by both your emotions and your ability to read into what other people are feeling. Social skills include being able to convey our point of view while respecting someone else's, being able to manage conflict, bein

Moving right along in our series about emotional intelligence, today's post features the fourth component: Empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others; it is about being aware of or being sensitive to another person's emotions even, at times when it is not being fully communicated. When we have good empathy skills, we can imagine what it would feel like to put ourselves in someone else's shoes - it is a vicarious experiencing of the feelings. How

People who have emotional intelligence also tend to possess Motivation - the third component of EI, and topic of today's post. If we are constantly distracted by our emotions, we may find it difficult to see tasks through to completion. When our emotional brain makes decisions for us, we can de-rail from our goals, reinforcing self-defeat, and feelings of failure. When we have self-awareness and are able to regulate our emotions; however, we are free to move forward in ou

Yesterday's post looked at the first component of Emotional Intelligence; Self-Awareness. Today's post looks at Self-Regulation. When we begin to have a greater understanding of our own emotions, we can begin to manage our emotions more efficiently, which leads to feeling capable and self-confident when it comes to controlling our emotional response. Some ways that we can build emotional self-regulation skills include: Taking a pause . When emotions begin to feel out of con

When we possess emotional intelligence, we tend to have a good understanding of our emotions. We are aware of how we feel, are able to control our emotions when necessary, and can express our emotions to others. A strong EI (also called EQ) tends to make us good listeners, as we apply the same awareness of emotions to others as we do to ourselves. Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and author of the 1995 book "Emotional Intelligence." He created five components of EI that he

Yesterday's post defined Imposter Syndrome; today's post looks at ways that we can begin to challenge those pervasive thoughts. Because Imposter Syndrome is defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that tend to persist despite evidence of success , one of the ways we can begin to challenge the underlying fraudulent feelings is to focus on the evidence of success. We can begin by writing down our accomplishments both at home and at work as a way to objectively view o

We all have moments of self-doubt. Sometimes those thoughts come into play when we are feeling insecure about something, or our confidence is down. Imposter syndrome, however tends to be more pervasive. It is defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that tend to persist despite evidence of success. In other words, if you often think "Eventually, someone is going to figure out the real me and see me for who I am," you may have imposter syndrome. It is about the inabi

When it comes to our emotions, we are best served to feel them as they come; with no judgment or criticism. There are moments where we may feel rejected; there are moments where we may feel surprised. We may feel sad or joyful. Perhaps we feel irritated or angry. Our feelings are meant to be and we must simply scooch over and offer them a seat beside us. When we are grieving, it is a feeling that envelops us. It will often come in waves; it can feel raw and untethered. It ca

There are times when we have to slow down our thought process enough to avoid saying something we end up regretting. Very often, an emotion gets in the way of acting rationally and we end up following the action urge instead of our logical brain (which shows up after the emotion has passed.) Sometimes our concerns for others can come out it ways that appear critical or harsh. I came across this acronym which can help us to think about what we wish to say in any given situati

We have all heard the phrase "Time heals all wounds." And perhaps in some instances, it does. Perhaps the passing of time helps move us farther away from what brought us heartache or loss. When it comes to forgiveness ; however, time tends to just pass along. When someone has betrayed us, the hurt has the potential to sit weighted. The bitterness and anger that comes as a result of the betrayal has nowhere to go, so it rolls around inside us, settling down as stones in our

In our last post based on the work of Dr. Paul Gilbert, we look at the Drive System . The Drive System, also known as the Incentive and Resource-Seeking System , is built to help us achieve goals. Its primary function is to motivate us, to provide the incentive for us to accomplish tasks and to seek resources that are going to allow us to survive. Think about our drive to get out of our cozy bed in the morning, the effort we undertake to go for a walk after working all day

Yesterday's post featured the Soothing-Contentment System of emotion regulation according to the work of Dr. Paul Gilbert. Today's post features another system entitled the Threat & Self-Protection System . The main function of this system is to pick up on threats early in order to protect us. This is the system that helps us to survive danger in order to seek safety and will attempt to manage fears. The feelings that are typically associated with this system include anxiety

According to the work of Dr. Paul Gilbert, we have three different systems we use to manage our emotions. These systems are different from each other and yet are designed to work together to help regulate emotion; they include different brain regions and chemistry. This post will begin a three part series in which we examine each of the systems in turn. The Soothing-Contentment System : The main function of this system is to create a system in which we feel the safest. It i

We all have an emotional rhythm that is personalized to what we have learned growing up. Although the feelings we experience when faced with certain events are universal in nature (sadness when grieving, anger when unjustified, fear when threatened), the way we process those feelings are very much our own. Some people are able to recognize their emotions quite easily and begin the process of them right away, others may struggle by pushing the emotions away or having the sense

Yesterday's post explored the spectrum of emotion when we feel disconnected; vulnerability on one end of the continuum and dominance on the other. When we feel disconnected from ourselves, our loved ones, our community, the first step is to recognize where we are on the spectrum. This allows us to acknowledge our struggle and to set as our goal a desire to find some middle ground. In order to begin to feel connected, we require the use of empathy. When we are either polarizi

There is an inherent value to connection. When we feel connected to ourselves and to others, when we can connect to our spiritual selves, we tend to feel a qualitative difference in the everyday purpose of our lives. We are, after all, social creatures. What happens when disconnection is what we feel instead? It might be with a loved one or friend that we are encountering a rough patch with, it may come in the form of a conflict, it may be an inner wrestling with ourselves. I

Trying to manage a mental illness can be quite difficult at times; the symptoms are often pervasive and debilitating. In its wake, mental illness will bring along a myriad of feelings, one of which is guilt. For some, it is a general guilt about mental illness; it may be that we feel guilty about how our mental illness impacts others, what it means in our workplace, guilt about the inability to function optimally, guilt that we may have to take some time to get back on track