Today marks the anniversary of my mom's passing. One year. Sometimes it is hard to believe that I have lived a whole year without seeing her, laughing with her, being with her. Other times, it feels like a lifetime. The amount of times that I wished I could have called her, been comforted by her, sat beside her in church, hugged her, laughed in unison with her are too many too count. People tell you that the grief of losing your mom is profound, and they are right. My year o

I recently wrote a blog about Chanel Miller and her appearance on Oprah's podcast Supersoul Conversations. Now I am making mention of her book "Know My Name." One of the best books I have read this year, Know My Name is a poignant and honest memoir of Chanel's experience as the victim in the "Stanford Rape Case" of 2015. Known to the world as Emily Doe, we become privy to her experience from the moment she woke up in a hospital room with pine needles in her hair, abrasions

In our ongoing series of self-reflection questions, we come to this one: "Have I made someone smile today?" It is not difficult to get caught up in the activity of our day - routines to stick to, timelines to make, we have to get the kids to their activities, suppers to prepare and houses to neaten. Sometimes we rush from our homes to our jobs and back to our homes again. If we are stretched too thin, we run the risk of becoming frayed; leaving us feeling drained and hardly i

This poem was recently shared with me: "It's dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you're feeling deeply. Just let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days. Lightly, lightly. It was the best advice ever given to me....to throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into

I love this passage about how light can bring hope: "Scientists have discovered that what looks like darkness to the human eye is actually filled with tiny particles called 'neutrinos,' slivers of light that pass through the entire universe. Apparently, there is no such thing as total darkness anywhere, even though the human eye thinks there is. Knowing that the inner light of things cannot be eliminated or destroyed is deeply hopeful." - Richard Rohr, The Universal Christ

I have just finished reading a book entitled "The Second Mountain" by David Brooks. In this book, Brooks explores four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose. It is a book about personal fulfillment and the sense of agency that is required to live a joyous life. In the beginning chapters, he speaks about suffering: "There's nothing intrinsically noble about suffering. Sometimes grief is just grief, to be gotten through. Many bad things happen in life, and it'

I regularly listen to a podcast called Ear Hustle . It is based out of San Quentin and gives the listener a glimpse into the daily realities of life in prison. In their latest episode entitled "Tell Christy I Love Her," we meet Tom, a police officer, his wife, Christy and an offender, Jason, who is serving 19 years in prison for shooting Tom in a violent encounter in 1997. Jason, a 17 year old gang member in 1997, mistrusted the police from an early age. After being pursued

This is what Frommer's had to say about travelling to Jamaica if you're gay: "Jamaica is the most homophobic island in the Caribbean, with harsh anti-gay laws, even though there's a large local gay population. If you're desiring a trip to get some sun, forget Jamaica unless you want to stay deep in the closet." I would never had known this had we not researched gay-friendly Caribbean locations last year when planning a family vacation. This is why being an ally to the LGBT

We are naturally drawn to forgive. It is a part of the emotional process that we possess that strives for us to live in peace. There are times, however, when it seems impossible to forgive as residual emotions stand in the way of truly feeling peace in our hearts. Yesterday's post explored three essential understandings of the process of forgiveness; today we look at the difference between forgiveness and redemption. We are also naturally drawn to wanting to be forgiven. Red

To forgive someone of a hurt they have done to us is not an easy task. Fraught with many emotions - sadness, anger, fear, betrayal, loss - we are thrown into an existential place of trying to understand why it happened and how it has changed us. Sometimes, we deal with the effects of cumulative wrongdoings in a relationship that is unhealthy and we struggle to forgive those who continually act towards us in ways that are dismissive or unkind. In either case, we bear the act

I sat with a new mom in session. Her baby was about 4 months old; into a nice routine and able to start bringing her to baby-oriented activities in the community. She was happy to be a new mom, and yet also experiencing some adjustments - including some inner resentment she was feeling towards her husband who was starting his hockey night out every week and was due soon to go hunting for a few days. She noted that she didn't want to have these feelings. When we become a new

Today's question deals with our past: "Am I holding onto something I need to let go of?" Past hurts, resentments, feelings towards someone. Past failures, regrets, mistakes. Emotional ties to an ex, emotional ties to someone that has hurt or mistreated us or a loved one. We all have instances in our past in which we are given the opportunity to hold onto things. The bigger question is "Have we allowed them to stew?" Ultimately this self-reflective question is not about the p

Sometimes we need to press the pause button. Our feelings can move us into an action urge, that if acted upon, may come with regret, feeling guilty, and the consequential need for repair. We are much better served to slow things down. I came across this acronym which allows us to work with the power of the pause: P: Pause - take a deep breath; that usually gives us a few moments to say to ourselves "Okay, slow down." A: Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings . Jot them dow

Today's self-reflection question is an interesting one: "Does it really matter what others think of me?" Interesting because I would say that the answer is "It depends." If we tend to suffer from low self-confidence or self-worth, we can often spend far too much time worrying about what other people think of us. We begin to fear that others are judging us, which can lead to denying invitations to social functions or gatherings. If we tend to lean into perfectionist tendencies

In true Sesame Street fashion, they are not shying away from tackling real issues for children. In an article entitled "Yellow-haired Muppet Karli helps 'Sesame Street' tackle addiction," by Kristen Dahlgren and Jay Blackman and featured on NBC news , we meet Karli, a muppet who has to enter foster care because her mother suffered from addiction. Karli joins many other muppets in bringing issues that affect children to the forefront, including Julia, a muppet on the Autism s

In 2015, we knew her as Emily Doe. She was the victim in what the world has come to know as the "Stanford Rape Case." Brock Turner was found guilty of sexual assault and served only three months. In Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations Podcast , she sits down with Chanel Miller ; Chanel has written a book called "Know My Name" and is speaking out about the experience and how her life changed as a result. When Oprah asks her if there was ever a time when Chanel felt like harming h

What better day to share a gratitude quote than on Thanksgiving weekend: “At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” – Albert Schweitzer We have many reasons to be thankful; including those people for whom we are grateful - past, present and for those we haven't met yet. :) Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Photo credit: http://Photo by E

In our last on a series on which we have explored what the Canadian Mental Health Association marks as 6 things we need in order to thrive, today we examine sense of belonging . As I often remark, we are a relationship species. Part of our ability to have a sense of self, purpose, contribution, hope and resilience depends upon the connection we have with others. When we have the sense that we belong, we feel accepted; when we can feel unconditional acceptance from others, i

As noted by the Canadian Mental Health Association, we need 6 things to help us thrive. So far in our series, we have explored sense of self, purpose, contribution and hope. Today, we look at resilience. Resilience is our ability to adapt and bounce back from adversity. Although there are certain factors that can lead a person to be more resilient, such as having a positive attitude and being able to regulate emotions, resilience is also something that can be cultivated. Tw

The Canadian Mental Health Association lists a sense of hope as one of the factors that contribute to our ability to thrive. We are born with eternal hope. It is one of the traits that allows us to have faith that things will work out; that the rough times will pass; that we can face our challenges. A sense of hope; however, is cultivated. When we feel intrinsically that we have some control over which direction our life can go, we feed hope. When we look for a deeper mea