Today will start a 5 post series on the work of Dr. John Arden; his study of neuropsychology has led him to creating what he calls the SEEDS of a healthy brain. Combining neuroscience and psychotherapy, Dr. Arden proposes that there are 5 factors that keep the brain healthy. In "Re-wire Your Brain" he states: "If you plant seeds and cultivate them on a regular basis, then, as you get older, your brain will last longer. You'll have less stress and better memory capacity." Th

I often speak about self-reflection and the importance of being open and curious about ourselves; how we process the world, our core beliefs, how our past informs us, our accountability when it comes to our choices and our behaviours. I have decided to post self-reflection questions, not only as a way to get us thinking, but also as a way to potentially generate conversations with our loved ones. The entries won't be posted as a series, but rather once in awhile, as self-refl

I love the cool nights we have been experiencing. Windows open, waking up to the sound of crickets, the cool air settled at your feet; by midday, the sun strong and ready to fill you with its warmth. It is a reminder that the seasons are soon changing, to enjoy the still summery temperatures of end of August, before we begin to reach for a sweater when heading out the door. The earth grounds us. Being in nature heals us. Experiencing the changes, the cyclical transformation

If we have children, we will inevitably reach the day when they are heading off to college. The transition will most likely bring a mix of emotions, as the adolescent is stepping closer to independence and adulthood. Coming into that move-in weekend can bring some anticipatory anxiety, and as parents, our attention is often focused on the child's emotions and getting them geared up and calmed down. We load up the mini-van, pack the Kraft Dinner and get pulled into the busy co

The following advice comes from a "Raising Teens Today" meme that my partner shared on Facebook: 10 Lessons I Want to Instill in My Kids If you make a mistake, apologize If you're thankful, show it. If you're confused, ask questions. If you learn something. teach others. If you're stuck, ask for help. If you're wrong, fess up. If you love someone, tell them. If you trip, get back up. If someone needs help, help them. If you see wrong, take a stance. What a lovely, yet simple,

In a recent article entitled, "Autistic Teenager Creates App To Help People On the Spectrum" by Nicholas Fearn and featured on Forbes , we meet Ethan Shallcross, an eighteen year old software developer who has created an App for people on the autism spectrum. Created with his own experience in mind, he says: "The app has been built with people on the autism spectrum in mind, and has influenced the design and functionality of the entire app. However, it is not just for peopl

In a recent podcast I was listening to entitled "Oprah's Master Class: The Podcast" featuring Goldie Hawn, she speaks about a time in her life when she was struggling with depression, and subsequently made the decision to go to therapy. This is what she had to say about the process: "I became depressed. I felt that I was detached; detached from everything I knew. I was afraid I was never going home again. So I then saw a doctor. I wanted help. I started to go back, from the

My girlfriend owns and runs a soap making business. She has a few employees who work to support the business; either in the shoppe, the production room, the gardens (they are extensive - and beautiful) or in helping to market the business. As anyone who is self-employed knows, there is always plenty of work to be done. One of the things that Tara does every day with her employees is to take an afternoon break to have "tea and treats." It is in addition of course to their ha

I was recently asked this question "How do I let go of someone that I still love? How can I get used to the idea of him with someone else?" This was in response to someone who's recent break up was difficult, yet necessary. We spoke of two things: Healthy detachment. It is a process we all have to go through in break -up. It begins when we start to acknowledge that the relationship is not working or this person is not right for us (this process can begin while in the relatio

In an article entitled "Find Your Ground" by Dr. Rick Hanson , he writes about finding a place to stand when you've been shaken. Here are some key pieces of advice he gives on how to find your ground: "Start with you body and the feeling of being here." Deep breathing helps :) "Establish as best you can the relevant facts." This is important as it allows our rational brain to weigh in to the emotion of what is happening. "Sort out the impact of the event on you and those ar

One of the books that I read on vacation was entitled "maid" by Stephanie Land. A memoir, "maid" was Stephanie's story about how an unplanned pregnancy, and subsequent life as a single mom, saw her strapped in poverty for years as she struggled to support herself and her daughter. For anyone who suffers from panic attacks, you know first hand how frightening and debilitating in the moment they can be. You most likely also know that they do tend to pass, and when we groun

This week I am on holidays. My girls and I have traveled down to the Eastern U.S. where we stay with my aunt and visit the beaches of New Hampshire and Maine. It is a week of comfort; visiting with family, eating seafood (we had lobster last night!) and spending much time on the sandy beaches, enjoying the sounds and sights of the ocean with the warmth of the sun beckoning us for a mid afternoon nap. There is something about the ocean that brings about the most calming effec

In a recent episode of Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations , she featured Pastor John Gray . This is what he had to say about a concept he refers to as the bridge, a figurative meeting in the middle for people who are on opposite sites of ideology or experience: " When I think about the bridge, I think about what I must do,to connect and engage people who didn't come from where I came from so that we can have a place of commonality and understanding. In our society, shame has pe

I liked this passage in Courtney Peppernell's poetry book entitled "Pillow Thoughts:" "I hope you find someone who never makes you question your own self-worth. I hope you find someone that chases your happiness as much as their own. I hope you find someone who supports you in the things you are passionate about. I hope you can find someone with whom you can laugh with and sit in silence with and share your deepest secrets with. I hope you find someone who is your lover, you

I love this little quote about life: "We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one." - Tom Hiddleston To me this quote is about the ability we have to design our own life. It is about where we choose to spend our energy each day; the commitment to daily self-care, the connections we create in our comings and goings, the effort we place in self-reflection and growth, the time carved out for love, work, play and rest. At the end of each day, bu

As anyone who follows my blog regularly, you know that I lost my mom last November. Although I rely on the knowledge that grief has its own timeline, I also know inherently, that I will forever miss her. She played an integral role in my life, was a strong member of my support circle, and I consider her to be one of my kindred spirits. And although I still have times of deep, grief filled moments, I also have happy moments, peaceful moments, joyful moments. The other day on

If you have ever wanted to get an easy to read, common sense book on attachment, I have just finished reading one that I highly recommend! Entitled "Attached." by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller , subtitled "The new science of adult attachment how it can help you find - and keep - love," this book will bring you through the three styles of attachment most commonly found in adult relationships: " Adult attachment designates three main 'attachment styles' or manners in w

We are a relationship species; we feel supported when connected to others. We thrive in our emotional life when we can be comfortable in our vulnerability; when we can depend on the people in our life who are stable and consistent in their love and action. And so why do some people struggle with commitment? Sometimes it comes in the form of subtle distancing - being evasive as to making plans, making independent decisions while in the context of a relationship, avoiding ans

Very often, clients come to therapy because of a back and forth relationship; stuck between knowing that the relationship is no longer working for them and locked into their attachment system’s eternal hope that “things might change.” I came across this song by Toronto artist Barbara Lica called “Before I Do.” To me, it embodies what I often refer to as the “change it, accept it, or leave it” work we need to do when faced with an issue we feel lost in. Before I Do Before I

At the age of 19, Shaka Senghor was sent to prison having been convicted of second degree murder. In what he describes as the most "chaotic night of my life," Shaka admits to having made a mistake that forever changed him. In a recent podcast featured on Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations with Shaka Senghor , he speaks to what prison has taught him in terms of healing and growth: "I began writing. I began to realize that the man that I was at the time was really a broken little