Normally I would caution clients against using TV as a method of self-care as it can lead us at times to disengage. Sitting down to a favourite show; however, certainly has its merit, and with balance as our goal, we can use TV as a good distraction or relaxation method. In an article entitled, " Therapists Found These 15 Shows and Movies on Netflix and Amazon Prime Dramatically Boost People's Moods" by Carolyn Steber and featured on Bustle , Steber writes about how certain

We often try and avoid unpleasant emotions; this little poem by Rumi reminds us that it is okay to welcome them as a part of our human experience: The Guest House This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honourably.

Building on our post from yesterday about negative bias, today we look at Dr. Rick Hanson's work in terms of activating positive mental states. By explaining short term versus long term memory capacity, Dr. Hanson states: "The takeaway point is that most positive experiences wash through the brain like water through a sieve, while negative ones are caught every time." We can't escape the negative bias; it is part of our evolutionary brain. But we can work towards activating

I have been working away at an online course on why brain science matters in therapy. In one of the segments, we hear about 'negative bias' from Dr.Rick Hanson. Essentially, he talks about how the brain is very good at learning from bad experiences and pretty bad about learning from good experiences; what it really boils down to is an evolutionary bias towards avoiding danger and threat. He goes on to explain that we have three levels of the evolutionary brain developed to f

I recently listened to Oprah Winfrey's Master Class Podcast which featured guest Maya Angelou . This is what she had to say about how we can be a rainbow in someone else's cloud: "There is an African American song which is so great and it goes like this....'When it looks like the sun wasn't going to shine anymore, God put a rainbow in the clouds.' I've had so many rainbows in my clouds. I had a lot of clouds, but I have had so many rainbows. And one of the things I do when I

When I was about 8 years old, after my sister and I had come in from outside, I was singing to myself this little song the neighbour girls had taught us. "Eenie meenie, miney mo, catch a 'n-word' by the toe. If he hollers, let him go, eenie, meenie, miney, mo." WELL! I will never forget my mother's immediate reaction; to this little kid, I had absolutely no idea what was getting her all ruffled. She went on to explain of course why the use of the 'n-word' was so derogatory an

In a recent article entitled "How Bibliotherapy Can Help Students Open Up About Their Mental Health" by Juli Fraga and featured on KQED news , Fraga writes about a program that was developed at Westborough High School in Massachusetts in order to help young people deal with trauma and loss. At Westborough High, the school librarian, Anita Cellucci and school counsellor, Ceil Parteleno, created a unique school-based support group, using literature and cognitive tools as a wa

You either love Dr. Phil or you don't. He is a no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is therapist and the reason I like him is because it's authentically him. If someone is going to tell you the truth about your life, you want it to come from a genuine source. My colleague Darlene directed me towards a Dr. Phil podcast series called "Living By Design." First off, love the name; it implies that we can make conscious choices to achieve our goals and live a purposeful life. Dr. Phil us

A client recently recommended the book "Girl Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis. In it, Rachel addresses 20 lies that women typically tell themselves; her job is to debunk those myths and she uses her own story and humour to do it. Here are just a few of her musings: I surround myself with positivity . I cringe even writing that because it sounds like a poster you'd see taped to the wall of your eighth grade gym class - but cheesy or not, it's gospel. You become who you surrou

Today my mom would have turned 74. In honour of her birthday, I share this quote: "Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws." -Barbara Kingsolver The strength of my mother is where I find peace. I see it in her smile when I look at pictures, I pray to her on my walks, I feel it when a funny memory brings about laughter. I see it in the way I parent, I feel it when my girls hug me, I am reminded of it in my sister. The strength of my mother is where I

In our last of a series of posts celebrating the Seven Grandfather Teachings of First Nations People, we add Truth to the core values of wisdom, love, respect, bravery, honesty and humility: " Truth: is to know all of these things. It is said that in the beginning, when the Creator made man and gave him the seven sacred laws, the Grandmother Turtle was present to ensure that the laws would never be lost or forgotten. On the back of a Turtle are the 13 moons, each representin

Today we add humility to our Seven Sacred Teachings of the First Nations People: " Humility: Humility is to know yourself as a sacred part of the Creation. Symbolized by the wolf, humility is about being humble and not arrogant. The expression of this humility is manifested through the consideration of others before ourselves. In this way, the Wolf became the teacher of this lesson. He bows his head in the presence of others out of deference, and once hunted, will not take o

The fifth core value that the First Nations People speak about in the Seven Grandfather Teachings is Honesty: " Honesty: Honesty also means “righteousness”, be honest first with yourself – in word and action. Long ago, there was a giant called Kitch-Sabe. Kitch-Sabe walked among the people to remind them to be honest to the laws of the creator and honest to each other. The highest honor that could be bestowed upon an individual was the saying "There walks an honest man. He

Continuing our series on the Seven Sacred Teachings of the First Nations, today we look at Bravery: " Bravery is to face foe with integrity . Symbolized by the bear, he teaches us courage. The Bear provides many lessons in the way it lives, but courage is the most important teaching it offers. Though gentle by nature, the ferociousness of a mother Bear when one of her cubs is approached is the true definition of courage. To have the mental and moral strength to overcome fear

Continuing our exploration of First Nations' Seven Sacred Teachings, we add respect to wisdom and love: "Respect: To honour all of the creation is to have respect. Symbolized by the buffalo, no animal was more important to the existence of Indigenous families than this animal, and its gift provided shelter, clothing and utensils for daily living. Native people believed themselves to be true caretakers of the great herds, and developed a sustainable relationship with the buff

Continuing our exploration of the Seven Sacred Teachings of First Nations we look to their second core value as a way to acknowledge the importance of human conduct and how that relates to our well-being: " Love: To know love is to know peace. Symbolized by the eagle, the Eagle was chosen by the Great Spirit to represent the belief that to feel true love is to know the Creator. Therefore, it is expected that one's first love is to be the Great Spirit. The Eagle can reach th

In the First Nations community, they teach the Seven Sacred Teachings. Also known as the Teachings of the Seven Grandfathers, they incorporate core values that they deem to be imperative to human conduct. Let's explore each one in terms of not only how they are viewed traditionally, but how we can apply each one to ourselves in a holistic and therapeutic sense. " Wisdom: To cherish knowledge is to know wisdom. Symbolized traditionally by the beaver, it is the example of th

I have recently discovered a podcast by Rachel and Dave Hollis entitled "Rise Together." In it, they give some common sense advice for making your relationship stronger. In one of their first episodes, they talk about the intention of the relationship; an element that focuses on recognizing that without active motive and purpose, relationships can get static. Two tips that work towards intention: Identifying 5 core values for your relationship. Rachel notes that sitting to

I have remarked many times that our children have become so dependent on their phones, that to see young people without one in their hand is rare. And yet, are adults at this point, any better? And it is not the dependence so much in terms of convenience that most concerns me, but rather that it has become a tool to avoid boredom. It is in times of stillness that we can really see how the dependence on our phones is affecting us. In a recent Clear and Vivid podcast with Ala

Once a year, my friend Nathalie and I take my girls on a travel weekend. Fifteen years in the making, this year we decided to check out San Antonio, Texas; bringing along my niece for good measure :) To say that our trip started out smoothly is a gross understatement. Our flight delayed by 2.5 hours in Ottawa due to weather, we missed our connecting flight in Toronto to Austin. We made it to Toronto, re-routed to Houston, only to sit on the tarmac for 3 hours before take-off.