When life begins to feel like its dragging its heels, when we are faced with a challenge, we can often lean into the negative feelings that come with those types of situations. Although we need to be able to be comfortable with discomfort, we always run the risk of following those negative thoughts down the rabbit hole. Here are some wise words from Marianne Williamson on the process of finding light in the dark: "The darkness is an invitation to light, calling forth the spi

We have all heard the caution around the word "should." When we use it in regards to ourselves or to others, it can often become accompanied with guilt, unrealistic expectations, and/or judgment. The same can be said for rigid language in general. When we use the words 'always' or 'never' when speaking about behaviours, choices, and/or conduct, we can set ourselves up to be critical (regardless of our intention.) "You always......" "You never......" "I will always....."

Yesterday's blog post touched on the need to maintain a continuously positive state, so much so that you leave both yourself and others feeling minimized and invalidated. By overgeneralizing an optimistic state, we miss the boat on genuine emotional experiences. In order to create balance to positivity, you can: Begin by slowing down the immediate response. People who tend to jump to the positivity wagon often do so too quickly. Take a few deep breaths and make more room for

Ever meet someone who is so consistently positive that it begins to feel like you never get to know them? A pleasure to talk to, yet keeps things so rosy, you begin to experience an 'uber-positive' divide? To answer the question, "Is there such a thing as being too positive?" The answer is yes. People who tend to only look on the bright side inadvertently dismiss not only their own feelings, but those around them as well. Their need to create an optimistic state begins to t

We all love the iconic Peanuts gang; here are some of my favourite quotes to brighten your day: “Happiness is anyone and anything that’s loved by you.” – Charles M. Schulz , Charlie Brown. "All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!" – Charles M. Schulz, Lucy. "It’s just human nature…we all need someone to kiss us goodbye." –  Charles M. Schulz, Marcie. "In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back."  – Charles M. Schulz , Charlie Brow

Got something bugging you? Have feelings that you have the tendency to simply push away? Have an issue you refuse to do anything about? I often remark to clients that there is a fine line between distraction and avoidance, and only one is good for you. The difference lies in two variables: acknowledgement and action. When we avoid something that we need to address, or ignore the way we are feeling, we skip over acknowledgement and there is no room for plan, direction or re

As parents, there are going to be times when we disagree with each other and an argument might ensue; one that the children witness, regardless of our efforts to slow it down. An exception to the rule is often manageable and won't create long lasting effects; however chronic parental conflict will.  Our home is set up to be a safe place; one in which we don't experience ongoing conflict or chaos; meant to provide security and consistency in care. When parents (either living

We all have a window of tolerance. It's that space between our patient state and our "I'm going to lose it" state. For some, that transpires to irritability and anger - to others, an eruption of tears; it can also manifest into a shut-down, don't approach me state.  Sometimes, our reaction can be a combination of any of the above. In any case, when we push past our window of tolerance, we often act in ways that we regret. We have moved past our open minded, listening place,

I have quoted Morgan Harper Nichols many times on this blog. I love the way she composes her words to reach how we can feel on any given day. This quote wraps up our small series on resilience: "There will be days when you are certain you are over it. There will be days you feel everything all over again. But no matter the day, there will be songs to listen to. And when you don't feel like singing, there will be rhythms to breathe to, for grace is still at work in you." - Mor

Yesterday's post looked at the importance of our mindset when building resilience. Today, we look at well being and how it can contribute to the overall level of resilience we have in dealing with stress, a situation out of our control, loss, trauma. One of the greatest factors that contributes to our well being is when, upon examination, we feel good about our lives. Paramount to feeling an overall sense of satisfaction is the amount of personal control we have within them

Resilience is defined as "the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness." It is a psychological quality that allows us to recover from challenges, and in hindsight, to acknowledge those challenges as times of personal growth. How is it that some people seem to be more resilient than others? Although there are contributing factors such as early life experiences and genetics that can't be modified, we can build resilience. Today's post will feature building re

We have learned that there is an importance of choosing relaxing activities that will help counter the effects of stress. When feeding our comfort system, here are some things to consider: We allow our brain to process new information. Ever have a day that is go, go, go, only to lay in bed thinking about everything you put aside all day?  Finding ways to rest allows you time to process during our wakeful hours. We honour our body. Our bodies need time to counter stress indu

When I get fluttered feelings of anxiety, I like to remind myself that "No matter what, I will be okay." It is also important to focus in on the simple things in life as that is where we will gather the most contented feelings. I rather appreciate reading Brooke Hampton quotes for this reason as she reminds us about what in life, really matters: "Fancy things never appealed to me. I like the sweet, simple things. I like to watch the sunrise on my old front porch with a warm c

I saw this passage on Instagram at myspiritualpath and thought it was a lovely reminder that being true to ourselves is the highest form of self-love: I will start filling my own cup. Being my own muse. Knowing my own worth. Loving my own skin. Praising my own existence. Validating my own journey. Speaking my own truth. Admiring my own reflection. Experiencing my own love. Enjoying my own company. Extending my own energy. Creating my own paradise.    Photo by Tron Le on Un

Ever have the experience of accidentally hitting the ditch? Maybe the weather was bad, or you were driving a bit too fast (or both). Maybe someone veered into your lane and you had no choice; before you know it, the car is taking its own path and you have lost control. Very often, it is the same in life. Travelling along, sometimes we 'hit the ditch' because of our own choices, other times, it is the challenges that get in our way. For the time that it takes to get lodged, t

Our last blog post featured what emotional entrapment can look like in a relationship. Today's post is written as a reminder of what a healthy relationship consists of. It is important to note that sometimes we need some individual healing before a relationship can truly hold safety for us. We tend to re-enact our wounds and patterns from childhood in our intimate relationship; being aware of this and healing those wounds first will set the stage nicely for a healthy relatio

Dear readers, I am going on holidays for two weeks and wish to unplug and give myself a break - talk about good self-care :) I will be taking a break from this blog and you will see another post on July 29th. Take care, Kristine

"I can’t endure you, I can’t change you, and I can’t leave you." This is the first sentence of the article written by Randi Gunther entitled "Emotionally Trapped." Featured in Psychology Today, Gunther writes about the emotional entrapment that can often occur in relationships, describing it as such: "The partners who feels controlled within them often describe their partners as seemingly two different people, one whose qualities they still are attracted to and one who hu

I saw this story and it resonated with me as to the importance of simplicity: The rich industrialist was horrified to find the fisherman lying beside his boat, smoking a pipe. "Why aren't you out fishing?" asked the industrialist. "Because I have caught enough fish for the day." "Why don't you catch some more?" "What would I do with them?" "You could earn more money. Then you could have a motor fitted to your boat to go into deeper waters and catch more fish. Then you would

When we aren't feeling well, we make an appointment with our doctor. Nine times out of ten we will walk out with a prescription, and the symptoms tend to alleviate as the illness or symptoms clear. When we aren't feeling well emotionally, we may make an appointment with a therapist with the intention of alleviating the psychological burden we are facing. In either case, it requires some self-investment on our part. Unfortunately, there is an undercurrent of belief in our so