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Emotional Bank Accounts and Their Importance

Kristine Dewar, M.A., R.P., C.C.C.
Dec 19, 2025
2 min read

Stephen Covey,

in his best selling book entitled "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," spoke about emotional bank accounts. Covey's concept of an emotional bank account refers to the effectiveness of our relationships with others. Very much like a financial bank account, we can either make deposits or withdrawals - deposits will create greater bonds with others, withdrawals lead to damage and depletion of the relationship. His theory includes 6 major deposits:

  • Understanding the individual. This is about listening; getting to know the other person with the intention of understanding. Avoiding preconceived notions and judgements will help in keeping an open mind to someone else's experiences.

  • Attend to the little things. When we do something for others that we know matters to them, we automatically show our appreciation.

  • Keeping commitments.Not the intention to keep commitments, but rather a conscious decision to come through for people. It is value based and creates trust.

  • Clarifying expectations. This one is about making sure that our communication is open and we are not "expecting" that others know what we need from them. When we clarify, we take out the guess work.

  • Showing personal integrity. Do our words and actions match? If yes, we are using integrity in our relationships to build emotional bank accounts.

  • Apologizing genuinely. If you have made a withdrawal, recognize it and apologize with a genuine intention. This helps to build repair and will help temper the withdrawal.

Having a full and healthy emotional bank account helps us when going through challenging or tough times. By our actions, we can help others feel supported and cared for. Seems like a win-win to me :) Photo by Andre Taissin on Unsplash

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Land Acknowledgement

The West Champlain Family Health Team acknowledges it is located upon the traditional and unceded territory of the Algonquin People and respects the traditional knowledge and healing developed over generations. We have the privilege and responsibility to serve First Nations, Inuit, and Métis of many backgrounds and from many treaty and non-treaty lands and territories, and to demonstrate respect for the contributions and cultures of Indigenous Peoples.

 

Iye West Champlain Family Health Team ogíkikenindánáwá taniziwadj ondaje Algonquin Anishinábe tanakíwin ega ka mígiwewadj iyo kichi Anishinábewakí ashidj odapítenindánáwá kikádjichigewin ashidj mino nódjimowin ka pamíkán pinawígo. Nínawind d’ayánánán shawenimigoziwin ashidj inenindágoziwin kidji wídókáwadag Anishinábeg, Abitawizíg ashidj Kíwedinóg máneg wendjibáwadj ashidj níbina nakondiwin ashidj ega akíng ashidj tanakíwinan ashidj kidji wábandayá apítenindagoziwin ondji ka mígiwewadj ashidj pimádjiwowinan ogo Anishinábeg Pemádizidjig.

 

The West Champlain Family Health Team is grateful to the Indigenous Health Circle (which works in collaboration with The Algonquins of Pikwàkanagàn and the Ottawa Valley Ontario Health Team) for sharing a meaningful land acknowledgement both in English and Omámíwininímowin (the Algonquin Anishinábe language), which is the basis of our own.

© 2023 by West Champlain FHT

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