How We Stand In Our Own Way

Sometimes we create our own roadblock to change. This is not always obvious; after all, denial is a big line of defense. It can happen consciously - we verbally deny observations or questions brought to our attention; and it can also occur unconsciously, where the pull is stronger and it usually involves 'forgetting' elements of what has taken place. Typically, when we sense that there is something we hold back from ourselves, this represents our sore spots, our fears, our deep insecurities. It is usually tied to something from our childhood, and the thought of facing it is too frightening. The result? Self-sabotage. We find it in addiction, patterns of behaviour, automatic thoughts. It weaves itself into our relationships and can affect its functioning. In therapy, we often reach the point of exploring the resistance; usually when the therapist begins to feel compelled to convince. The first step is to come to the realization that we have created our own roadblock to change, and by sticking to old patterns, thoughts and behaviours, we are now perpetuating the cycle. From there, we can be curious. Where did this develop and why? Having these answers often makes it okay to give ourselves permission to ask ourselves "Does it have to be this way? Can I push past my comfort zone? Learn new ways of coping?"  Sometimes, we have to step out of our own way :) Photo by the blowup on Unsplash