I came across this poem by William Martin: Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care

I read this poem the other day and it reminded me about the power that a smile has: He didn't know her but she smiled, and he needed that today and he smiled back and she walked past and carried on their way. And he walked on and he kept pace and other people passed his way and he smiled and they smiled back and they needed that today. And they walked on and he walked on and other people passed their ways and they smiled and they smiled back and others walked towards and the

I recently heard the saying "Feelings are time travellers," and I resonated with how true that statement is. It explains how, when just by thinking about sitting on the sandy shores of Ogunquit Beach in Maine, I can feel a sense of peace within. It also clearly explains my instant reaction of tears when the first few notes of "The Prayer" by Celine Dion comes on the radio, as it is a song I deeply associate to my mom. Feelings, when triggered, have the ability to bring us ba

In our last post in this series, we look at Receiving Gifts; the final love language in Dr. Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages . In receiving gifts, we express or receive love in tangible ways that include small gestures of giving. It really is about thoughtfulness; we feel loved when we know that our partner was thinking about us and went out of their way to show us. Receiving gifts can include something that you mentioned you wanted, to a spontaneous purchase (such as your fa

Today we look at another one of Dr. Gary Chapman's 5 love languages - Physical Touch. Not hard to see how physical touch can be high up on the priority list for people when it comes to expressing and receiving love. The value of human touch to feeling connected is essential to every relationship, but for some people, the non-verbal expression of love ranks high up on their list of love languages. It is often interesting to explore how we were in terms of this love language

In our series on The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman , we continue with Words of Affirmation. When we feel touched by words of affection and compliments that express appreciation, we tend to connect with words of affirmation as a love language. Words can bring about powerful messages and images; perhaps hearing "I love you" is an important part of your daily needs, compliments on your appearance, words of gratitude and appreciation, love notes or texts sent that express

Yesterday we began a series featuring Dr. Gary Chapman 's theory on the 5 Love Languages . We started by exploring the love language of quality time; today we look at Acts of Service. Acts of service is about what we do for our partner; it is about the demonstration of love . If acts of service is a way that you know that you are loved, it will include things perhaps such as coming home to a warm cooked meal, being taken care of when you have had a long day, a chore done tha

Dr. Gary Chapman, in his best selling book entitled "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts," writes about how to use love languages to keep your relationship healthy. Chapman's theory is that each of us generally sees ourselves in one of the 5 love languages - quality time, acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation and receiving gifts - and that we primarily give love to our partner in the way we wish to receive it. It is important, Chapman notes,

I guess the most neutral answer is that it depends. Sometimes our stubbornness can be a productive tool in moving forward in our goals - especially if we have had setbacks that threaten to get us off track. Sometimes in our values, there is a determined air that keeps us from making choices that may be unhealthy. Being stubborn; however can also at times proves troublesome. If we are too rigid in our thinking and we try to 'force' an issue, or someone's choice in a matter, w

When we are anxious about something, we tend to worry. Sometimes we 'worst-case scenario' our worries, other times we spend time ruminating through something endlessly; we can also have the tendency to over think everything. Over-thinking and anxiety work hand in had to keep us stalled. Self-doubt and fear combine to put us in a position of not being able to make a decision; it binds us to a state of limbo and opportunities may pass us by. The tendency to over-think may be a

I came across this lovely quote by Laura Jean Truman emphasizing how we can be there to support someone: You can't heal the people you love. You can't make choices for them. You can't rescue them. You can promise that they won't journey alone. You can loan them your map. But this trip is theirs. Be gentle with yourself - it's hard work to be present to the freedom of the other. Laura Jean Truman When we try and save someone, it never works. I especially appreciate the line "

In Hawaiian culture, the Native people have often relied on specific concepts that, when followed and appreciated, lead them to lives of contentment. The concepts include: Mana : is the spiritual energy of power and strength that both people and objects possess. It is a life energy that people can influence; the choices made can either strengthen mana or take it away. Living a life of meaning, being modest, building and maintaining relationships and giving back to others or

I love the work of Morgan Harper Nichols; her poetry and quotes resonate with resilience and courage. I came across this one which speaks to the lovely quality of grace: "Grace will meet you in the wildness." - Morgan Harper Nichols There are countless times that I have used the saying "Take the high road." I have said it to myself, to my children, to clients, to family, to friends. Our challenges can often pull us into places that we feel out of control or with little power.

We all have insecurities. Sometimes they are ones that developed in our childhood, sometimes they can be circumstantial. We can have insecurities about the way we look, a skill that we lack, the way we parent, our abilities at work. Our insecurities can be tied to our sense of esteem or confidence, and they can be long lasting or fleeting. In any case, insecurities tend to take the lead. When feeling vulnerable, we often let our insecurity speak the loudest: "There is no way

In our last post about Emotional Intelligence, we look at the fifth component of EI: Social Skills . When we think about social skills in the context of emotional intelligence, it is about the art of being able to effectively communicate with others, being influenced by both your emotions and your ability to read into what other people are feeling. Social skills include being able to convey our point of view while respecting someone else's, being able to manage conflict, bein

Moving right along in our series about emotional intelligence, today's post features the fourth component: Empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others; it is about being aware of or being sensitive to another person's emotions even, at times when it is not being fully communicated. When we have good empathy skills, we can imagine what it would feel like to put ourselves in someone else's shoes - it is a vicarious experiencing of the feelings. How

People who have emotional intelligence also tend to possess Motivation - the third component of EI, and topic of today's post. If we are constantly distracted by our emotions, we may find it difficult to see tasks through to completion. When our emotional brain makes decisions for us, we can de-rail from our goals, reinforcing self-defeat, and feelings of failure. When we have self-awareness and are able to regulate our emotions; however, we are free to move forward in ou

Yesterday's post looked at the first component of Emotional Intelligence; Self-Awareness. Today's post looks at Self-Regulation. When we begin to have a greater understanding of our own emotions, we can begin to manage our emotions more efficiently, which leads to feeling capable and self-confident when it comes to controlling our emotional response. Some ways that we can build emotional self-regulation skills include: Taking a pause . When emotions begin to feel out of con

When we possess emotional intelligence, we tend to have a good understanding of our emotions. We are aware of how we feel, are able to control our emotions when necessary, and can express our emotions to others. A strong EI (also called EQ) tends to make us good listeners, as we apply the same awareness of emotions to others as we do to ourselves. Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and author of the 1995 book "Emotional Intelligence." He created five components of EI that he

Yesterday's post defined Imposter Syndrome; today's post looks at ways that we can begin to challenge those pervasive thoughts. Because Imposter Syndrome is defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that tend to persist despite evidence of success , one of the ways we can begin to challenge the underlying fraudulent feelings is to focus on the evidence of success. We can begin by writing down our accomplishments both at home and at work as a way to objectively view o