I saw this passage by a.r. lucas and it reinforces what love truly is: "We've been infected with this idea that love is an emotion only felt between two people. But love is universal. An energy. A contagious force. A gift. To offer money to a homeless man is to love.  To save a worm from the sun is to love. To smile to a stranger is to love. To be grateful, to be hopeful, to be brave, to be forgiving, to be proud, is to love." - a.r. lucas Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

In therapy, we often hear the phrase, "let's unpack that." Those words provide an image that we can work with to further explore. Think about the last time you were on vacation and brought your suitcase. When I get to my destination, I like to hang my good clothes in a closet that has all the hangers ready for me; I put my casual clothes in the dresser, and my cosmetics in the bathroom.  Doing so allows me to feel organized and hopeful as I feel ready and excited for my week

Lois Tonkin created this quote about grief: "People think that grief slowly gets smaller with time. In reality, grief stays the same size, but slowly life begins to grow bigger around it." When we experience a profound loss, grief becomes a part of our make-up. It remains in our cells, in our memories, in our stories. The presence of our loved ones who have passed away come to us every day in the smallest and biggest of ways. We can find grief in our laughter, in our tears, i

I came across the loveliest of poems: The Forest One day when you wake up, you will find that you've become a forest. You've grown roots and found strength in them that no one thought you had. You have become stronger and more beautiful, full of life giving qualities. You have learned to take all the negativity around you and turn it into oxygen for easy breathing. A host of wild creatures live inside you and you call them stories. A variety of beautiful birds nest inside you

It is in our nature to resist change; we wish for permanence and yet change is inevitable. In this poem by Khalil Gibran, he reminds us to challenge the fears that surround change: Before entering the sea, a river trembles with fear. She looks back at the path she has traveled, And in front of her, she sees an ocean so vast, that to enter, there seems nothing more than to disappear forever. But there is no other way. The river can not go back, nobody can go back.  The river n

People often think about the word 'addiction' when the phrase codependent relationship comes up. And although issues with addiction can create such a relationship, the codependency dynamic can exist at any time that one person is supporting another person in an unhealthy way . Generally speaking, the partner who is in the caretaking role is providing emotional, financial or physical support; putting someone else's needs above their own. And the partner on the receiving end,

Yesterday's post explored the difference between an impulsive choice and a skillful one. Today's post walks through an example; it is one that is universal and is tied to a pretty common impulsive (and therefore emotional) choice. I am sitting in front of the TV and it is about 8 pm at night. I think to myself "Hmmm, I wonder what I could eat," and I go to the pantry and open its doors. "I could eat some chips, make some popcorn, have a few cookies or a chocolate bar. Maybe

We make choices every day. Sometimes those choices fall into daily living activities such as what we might eat for lunch. Sometimes our choices are emotionally tied to us, such as how we might respond to a text or a comment. Sometimes our choices line up to a bigger life decision, such as whether or not to make a career change. In any case, we can make an impulsive choice or a skillful one. Impulsive choices are linked to emotion. They are the decisions we make on the fly, b

Here are 5 Quotes about love that can encompass all of the people we love in our lives: "There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart." - Jane Austen "You always gain by giving love." - Reese Witherspoon "Love yourself first and everything falls in line." - Lucille Ball “When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.” -  Jess C. Scott “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

In yesterday's post we looked at the danger of complacency in relationships; today's post features the question about the difference between giving up and acceptance. When we are faced with an issue in our lives, I like to say that our choices are one of three - change it, accept it or leave it. Most people will attempt to change it first, and if that doesn't occur, the process begins of exploring whether to accept it or to leave it. When this comes to the issue of complace

Sometimes we can become complacent in our relationships; without realizing it, we can end up underappreciating our loved ones or taking our partner for granted. The honeymoon phase may be over, but rather than the relationship falling into an easy exchange of healthy bids and affection towards each other, the relationship begins to feel empty or stuck. Knowing what causes complacency is a good place to start in trying to address it: Indifference. This one is a silent killer

I came across this little poem: I'm learning to be comfortable in the 'almost there,' rather than the 'here I am.' I'm growing into the idea it's okay to be small somedays and loud the next. I'm finding the difference in standing tall in height and standing tall in heart. I'm discovering that I can be messy and unfinished while being a complete work of art in the same moment. I'm learning that grace and growth like to hold hands.                                              

We have all heard the phrase "Time heals all wounds." And perhaps in some instances, it does. Perhaps the passing of time helps move us farther away from what brought us heartache or loss. When it comes to forgiveness ; however, time tends to just pass along. When someone has betrayed us, the hurt has the potential to sit weighted. The bitterness and anger that comes as a result of the betrayal has nowhere to go, so it rolls around inside us, settling down as stones in our

Yesterday's post touched on the importance of being able to step into our potential. Part of that process involves being able to self-reflect about the direction we are going and jotting down some tangible goals to get there. Another part of that process is our internal dialogue - what we tell ourselves. Once we set upon a goal, are we fully supporting it with our thoughts? Or do we find fault with our plans? Do we convince ourselves we don't have the skill, stamina or self-e

I really like this phrase. Not only does it convey that we all have potential, it also provides a nice image. Like the seas standing in front of us, all we need to do to experience its vast promise, is to step forward; to get our feet wet. We all have potential - to be kinder, to be more knowledgeable, to be healthier, to be dedicated, to be thankful - to work towards the goals we have set out for ourselves. But what, ultimately, helps us achieve our potential? What is the o

I came across this quote that reminded me that sometimes, this is exactly the place that growth will bring us: "And then it happens… One day you wake up and you’re in this place. You’re in this place where everything feels right. Your heart is calm. Your soul is lit. Your thoughts are positive. Your vision is clear. You’re at peace. At peace with where you’ve been, at peace with what you’ve been through and at peace with where you’re headed." - Anonymous And that is a lov

Audrey Hepburn, a British actress and humanitarian, worked tirelessly to help children in need. Here are three favourite quotes from this iconic actress: "As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others." - Audrey Hepburn "Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present - and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting

Words matter. Ask anyone who has been criticized in their childhood, or bullied with words, and they will tell you that it has long lasting effects. The way we speak to ourselves; therefore, matters. Our internal dialogue is often automatic and we can carry with us the words heard (and now believed) from childhood. Repeat after me: I am worthless. I am ugly. I am unlovable. We can play around with the words "I am" to incorporate almost anything negative. "I will never me

We live in an era where we are conscious of our children's needs; long gone are the days of "children are to be seen and not heard." We want our children to have a voice, we wish for them to be happy, and we desire to know them as individuals. As they age, we can be tempted to befriend our children; we love who they are becoming and the closeness we feel to them can bring us to the friendship line. When we become friends with our children, we run the risk of: creating in the

I love this quote by Morgan Harper Nichols: "One day you will look back and find that you were strong in ways you were not able to see at the time, and you will be grateful for how you chose to keep going even without knowing what the future would be." -MHN When we are in the midst of a challenge, we often can't see our strengths, and our courage is found one day at a time. When we are in the midst of what often feels like a global challenge, we often can't feel the future an