They say that the balance between rest and effort is 42% rest and 58% effort; those are the magic numbers that allow our brains and bodies to function well. Rest comes in the way of a good night's sleep however, it isn't the only way to relax. We can also choose to rest by: Learning to say no . If we say yes to everything that is asked of us, our effort becomes the greater number we feed. Be creative. When we do something that engages one of the arts, we allow our souls to

I love this quote by Marianne Williamson: "Living in the present does not mean surrendering our responsibility to correct some things from the past, or to plan and make way for the future; in fact it is the ultimate taking of responsibility for both." - Marianne Williamson Although it is important to live in the present moment as it allows us to feel less anxious and creates gratitude, it's purpose is not to avoid. Being able to find the courage to look at your story will b

I often talk about the benefits of walking - not only from an exercise perspective, but also from one of movement - as well as the mindful and purposeful seeking of peace. This is what Sarah Ban Breathnach has to say about walking in her book "Simple Abundance;" "My desire to walk increases a hundredfold by beautiful settings - particularly rural ones." She goes on to explain how she felt when moving from the charming English countryside to the Western landscape of New Mexi

I love the quote by Hans Christian Anderson that states, "Just living is not enough....one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower." It speaks to some core elements in feeling content. Here are five facts about how sunshine is linked to our increased emotional health: Sunlight increases serotonin, a hormone responsible for helping us feel calm, centered and relaxed. Exposure to the sun prompts our skin to create Vitamin D, known to help lower blood pressure, decrease

Sometimes our circumstances will bring us to a feeling of overwhelm and life can feel very weighted. When we are just barely keeping ahead of our tasks, or the struggle to get out of bed in the morning is our hill to climb, success can seem elusive and hard to measure. It is in times of overwhelm that I like to reflect on a quote that tends to put things into perspective for me: "Put your heart, mind and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success." -

When grieving, a feeling that can be common is that of guilt. In the midst of our sadness, when we struggle to process a loved one's death and their physical absence from our life, we often experience guilt for feeling any amount of joy. Sometimes it can even catch us off guard and we immediately feel as though we have somehow failed our loved ones. From this, there can develop what we consider to be a homage of sorts; that while we still grace the earth with our presence, we

When it comes to music, we have all experienced emotional moments when listening to a song triggers a memory, experience or feeling. I can hear "Dancing Queen" by Abba and instantly think of my mom, hear any Randy Travis song and be reminded of road trips with my girls (yes, I forced them to listen to it and they know all the words!) and when I hear "I Want to Dance with Somebody" by Whitney Houston, I am reminded of high school dances with my friends. Music is uplifting a

Getting back to yourself after a break up can be a difficult addition to the already painful swirl of emotions surrounding you. The Poem "Love After Love" by Derek Walcott focuses on loving the inner self after a relationship ends; moving towards the knowledge that within you is the power to heal. Love After Love The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say,

No one could make us laugh like Robin Williams did. His comedic genius masked inner conflict; although he was quite honest about his mental health struggles, it was easy to forget about that after seeing him on stage or in a move like "Mrs. Doubtfire". Today I feature three of my favourite quotes from a man who could always make me get to the belly laughs: "You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to." "I always thoug

One of the classic partnering-up that occurs in an opposite-attracts type way is a dynamic known as "Pursue and Withdraw." In an attachment framework, one person is typically Pre-occupied and the other is Avoidant-dismissive . In layman's terms, one partner tends to be more emotional with a need for connection, looks to their partner for reassurance and will fear being alone. The other partner tends to have less emotional capacity, will "shut down" when pressed for deeper con

For anyone who tends to lean into the tendency of perfection, they may also notice that procrastination likes to accompany it. Easily distracted to other things, the task at hand gets left behind (for now) and it appears that time management is the issue. But perhaps something else is in the undercurrent. If we believe that we must do something perfectly, look perfect in our appearance, or have others see us as perfect, we are in binding situation. Our rational minds tell us

Here is a lovely passage about empathy by Thich Nhat Hanh: Empathy "When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet, if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does

You're running late, feeling keyed up about not being on time; no one seems to be co-operating and the littlest one is starting to have a meltdown because she can't find her favourite hat. Before you know it, you are yelling at the kids and yanking the closet door practically off of its hinges. How did you go from anxious to angry so easily? Simply answered, our bodies set us up for it. When we are anxious, our body's muscles tense up, our blood pressure rises, our heart rat

I often speak of the importance of being curious. Outside of love, it is our best defense against fear. When we are worried about something, the fear center of our brain is activated. Perceived fears can be just as powerful as real ones, and so we can easily become fixated on the worry, eventually choosing avoidance over curiosity. Take someone for example who is afraid of change. Most of us are to some degree, but if someone has experienced traumatic or especially difficul

I especially resonated with this quote from Yung Pueblo: the forces of the universe support those who work at healing themselves. - yung pueblo Very often, people come into therapy with a core belief that keeps them stuck. Core beliefs remain rigid when we feed them; often using an internal, critical voice that originated from someone else or from experiences that hurt us. But what about the energy that is required to keep those core beliefs in place? And what happens wh

When I came across this passage by Danusha Lameris, it reminded me that there is always room for kindess: I've been thinking about the way, when you walk down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs to let you by. Or how strangers still say "bless you" when someone sneezes, a leftover from the Bubonic plague. "Don't die," we are saying. And sometimes, when you spill lemons from your grocery bag, someone else will help you pick them up. Mostly, we don't want to harm each ot

Consciously keeping laughter as part of our daily routine is a great self-care strategy! Here are five fun facts about the importance of keeping yourself amused: Laughter is contagious. People are 30 times more likely to laugh when in the company of others. Laughter has bonding qualities; when couples tackle stressful situations with humour, they are more likely to report higher levels of satisfaction with their relationship. The average person laughs around 13 times per day;

People often come to therapy because they have reached a crossroads in their lives. Unsure of which way to go, they end up standing at the crossroads, struggling to make a decision and feeling stuck. A job presents itself but is accompanied by change, a relationship has reached a point of being unhealthy, a bad habit is beginning to feel dysfunctional, past trauma is affecting your current experience. In any case, the impasse represents our comfort zone; choosing a path is

We may not always know what life has in store for us or the challenges that we may face. I came across this lovely passage by Morgan Harper Nichols that emphasizes the necessity of having faith in the journey: For the highs and lows and moments between, mountains and valleys, and rivers and streams, for where you are now and where you will go, for "I've always known," and "I told you so," for "Nothing is happening," and "All has gone wrong," it's here in the journey you will

In order for nature to flourish, it requires the proper amounts of hydration, nutrients, light, climate and space. In humans, we have both the advantage of the human growth hormone and cell propagation that allow us to physically grow; less than optimal conditions can affect this system as well. But what about emotional growth? How important is it for us to function? Well, I suppose that comes down to the importance we place on reaching our full potential, realizing and achi