After having walked away from a verbal exchange with someone, do you ever feel more conflicted and confused than before you started?  Then you might have just experienced emotional dumping. Emotional dumping is used as a way for people to escape from taking any responsibility for their actions, circumstances or state of the relationship. It is also a way to deflect the real issues at hand, as a way to protect themselves from coming into and embracing a vulnerable state. Emot

When we are fully ourselves in relationship, we have an innate sense of comfort within in. This is not to be mistaken for something that feels familiar - with familiarity the relationship feels safe, whereas with comfort, it feels trustworthy. It is only when we have trust and mutual respect can we feel true comfort in relationship. Our opinions and feelings matter as do those of our loved ones. One of the ways that we can contribute to that process is to create an environm

There are two truths that rise to the surface in relationship to others: You can't change others, you can only change yourself. I love the expression "Change it, accept it or leave it," as it signifies the choices we have when faced with an issue. Because we have eternal hope, we tend to move towards change first as a way to better the relationship. And really, why wouldn't we? If we can talk to our loved one about our concerns, or how their behaviours, patterns or choices

I was sitting once in a colleague's office and I noticed a poster she had on the wall and it made me think about how we attain wisdom. We certainly see our elders as wiser than us, but does it just come from the process of maturation? So I looked up the the definition of wisdom in  Webster's Dictionary and I especially appreciated reading: intelligence drawing on experience and governed by prudence.  The poster quoted: Four Statements that Lead to Wisdom: "I don't know" "I'

We have both a rational part of our brain and an emotional one. And it is important to remember that emotion will trump reason every time . We can make decisions when we are angry, fearful, guilty etc. and those decisions made in the midst of twirling emotions, often also come with regret. The “why did I say that” or “what the heck was I thinking” will come in the aftermath of a decision made in too much emotion. That being said, decisions made with pure logic can also go sid

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can develop when one has experienced a traumatic event. Here are 5 facts about PTSD: PTSD can develop not only after having experiencing trauma, but also from having witnessed it. Symptoms of PTSD include reliving the event through flashbacks and nightmares, avoiding possible triggers, excessive arousal which includes a hypervigilance to danger, and an increase in negative thoughts and feelings. We can ha

I recently sat with a client who had been a witness to a serious car accident. She had been involved in helping those injured and at the time of the accident was in full swing action mode. Three weeks later, she was still struggling with some of the after effects of that incident. When we have an especially upsetting experience or trauma, we will often experience an acute stress reaction . Very often, that will include a re-experiencing of the event with intrusive images or

Happy New Year to all! I hope that 2026 is good to you and filled with blessings. Here are a few quotes to help remind us that a new year brings about a sense of renewal; a time to welcome what lies ahead. “And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been.” —Rainer Maria Rilke, poet “With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” - Eleanor Rossevelt “The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written.” —Melody Beattie Ph

The turning of a new year often brings to our awareness goals that we may need to work on; plans for ourselves by way of self-improvement or creating habits that sustain and enhance our emotional goals. The following quotes help to remind us that change can be good; that movement forward is a key to our desire to seek joy and thrive in our daily lives. “Plant seeds every single day that help you know who you are, you know what you're about, and you know what goals you’ve set

The association that exists between love and approval is one I see over and over again in therapy. Formed usually in childhood, we begin to make links as to how to get affection and attention from our caregivers. Sometimes this comes when we are good or quiet, other times when we 'take care of.' Very often, love and approval is linked because of an emphasis on achievement or success; talent or beauty. Our attachment system is one that guides us to seek unconditional love; wh

Christmas comes and goes in a flurry of gift giving (and receiving), enjoying the sweets of the season, time spent with family. The build up is big, the days are over so quickly - but the spirit of the season remains: "The true beauty of Christmas is revealed when we adore the season, not like some weary adult, but like a bubbly little child." - Michael Bassey Johnson May the spirit of Christmas linger in your homes and in your hearts. :) Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

May the peace of the season be reflected in your soul; may the memories you hold dear visit you during this holiday season. I heard the bells on Christmas day, Their old familiar carols play, And wild and sweet, The words repeat, Of peace on earth, good will to men. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When we think of Christmas what truly means the most, it often is less about the gifts and more about the connection. This quote reflects that very sentiment: "Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas." - Peg Bracken Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash

For this Christmas season, a favourite quote: A little smile, a word of cheer, A bit of love from someone near, A little gift from one held dear, Best wishes for the coming year, These make a Merry Christmas.  - John Greenleaf Whittier May you all enjoy the peace that this time of year brings. It is often the simplest of blessings that mean the most. Photo by Mariana B. on Unsplash

I came across this lovely poem by Erin Hanson about what we are and what we aren't: Not. You are not your age, Nor the size of clothes you wear, You are not a weight, Or the colour of your hair. You are not your name, Or the dimples in your cheeks. You are all the books you read, And all the words you speak, You are your croaking morning voice, And the smiles you try to hide, You're the sweetness in your laughter, And every tear you've cried. You're the songs you sing so loud

Stephen Covey, in his best selling book entitled "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," spoke about emotional bank accounts. Covey's concept of an emotional bank account refers to the effectiveness of our relationships with others. Very much like a financial bank account, we can either make deposits or withdrawals - deposits will create greater bonds with others, withdrawals lead to damage and depletion of the relationship. His theory includes 6 major deposits: Understa

There is often an opposite energy attraction in our intimate relationships. People who lack confidence for example, are often attracted to those who have it. Introverts tend to attract extroverts, passive personalities will often be paired with dominant personalities. Sometimes the differences are linked to a quality (such as shyness), a value (financially secure) or a temperament trait (sensitivity). In any case, we often unknowingly attract ourselves to someone who provide

Even with the onset of winter, we can recognize the importance of getting outside. Here are five nature quotes to inspire: "Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "When your world moves too fast and you lose yourself in the chaos, introduce yourself to each color of the sunset. Reacquaint yourself with the earth beneath your feet. Thank the air that surrounds you with every breath you take. Find yourself in the appreciation of life." - Christ

One of my favourite quotes that I use in therapy comes from the movie Dumbo, featuring the lovable, Disney character born with larger-than-life ears. Having been mercilessly teased for his big ears, he has learned to dislike his appearance and his growing lack of self-worth reinforces what becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; Dumbo begins to feel and act as a bumbling, useless elephant who can't get anything right. Eventually separated from his mother, he befriends a mouse who

There are many times in therapy when a client is finally able to share a secret that they have held onto since childhood. The air becomes palpable with relief, the client expresses how the space around them feels lighter, and there are often tears indicative of their loss. When we are children, we internalize everything. When trauma occurs, when we witness something or are a victim of something that we understand is 'wrong,' we automatically feel that somehow it must be our