It is not easy to be in limbo. We tend to like process, action, direction. Sometimes, however; the universe purposely slows things down for us to learn something about ourselves. To gain some perspective, to allow ourselves time to heal, to feel calmer; more grounded. But waiting is the pits. Because as much as we may not like to admit it, we want our future to happen now. "Bring me the healthier relationship, the better job, the reciprocal friendship. I have decided I want

I have many clients who come to therapy with stories of not-so-great parenting. Sometimes they have come to the conclusion that their parent(s) did the best that they could with what they had, other times, they are still wrestling with eternal hope and wishing for some change - or at the very least, validation. With bad parenting, there is grief. A sense of loss is inherent in the process of gaining the realization that what your parent could have provided to you, didn't. So

I grew up watching The Cosby Show with Bill Cosby as 'America's Dad.' When accusations first came out against him, it was hard to believe they could be true - the evidence; however, was determined to reveal who Cosby really was. The podcast "Chasing Cosby" hosted by journalist Nicki Weisensee Egan, is an account from the very beginning, when Canadian woman, Andrea Constand spoke up against Cosby - it is a story of charges dismissed, to a civil suit, to criminal trial follo

Here is the next question in our Self-Reflection series: "When did I last push the boundaries of my comfort zone?" When my girlfriends and I turned 40, we headed to Anna Maria Island in Florida for a long weekend. Part of our adventures that weekend was the suggestion by Kim that we try parasailing, but the caveat was that we all had to go - which for my friend Tara and I was out of our comfort zone. After some deliberating, it was decided that we would go; Tara and I would

There are times in our lives where we so desire closure but struggle to get it. Someone has hurt us and we want to understand why. Someone dies un-expectantly and we struggle with the existential question of their loss. Unanswered questions in a break up can leave us feeling vulnerable. We know that with closure comes acceptance, but what happens if closure isn't provided in the experience? Let's face it - some people won't apologize because they can't and some things just c

One of the books I read on vacation was "Love Lives Here: A Story of Thriving in a Transgender Family" by Amanda Jette Knox. Knox's overall theme that runs throughout the memoir is to 'lead with love;' a message that comes to pass in countless ways as her family shifts to embrace two trans people within their fold. An interesting fact from its pages include: "This extremely vulnerable population (trans youth) carries high rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide.

We have just returned from a lovely, sun-filled week in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Kurt and I, along with three other couples, have much to be grateful for including: time spent connecting. Catching up, enjoying wonderful meals together, laughing, memories made. being Canadian. It is such a wonderful feeling to hear (many times over) from Mexicans that they love Canadians. the sun. Being in a sunny place for even a week, helps to reset your commitment to winter :) the opport

In a recent article entitled "Lanark first in Canada to adopt Icelandic model for reducing teen social harm" by Elizabeth Payne and featured in the Ottawa Citizen , we read about a group in Lanark called Planet Youth Lanark who have signed a five year agreement with the Icelandic Centre for Social Research and Analysis. The article features some interesting facts about Iceland's program to reduce substance abuse among their youth: after the induction of the program in the

Today's self-reflection question taps into what we have learned in our lifetime. The growth that we continue to experience as we age, will bring to us knowledge about ourselves and the way we process the world. The question: "What are five things I have learned?" will likely change as we enter different stages of our life. As a 48 year old, here are my answers: I have learned that despite who surrounds us, has shaped us, or continues to love us - we are for ourselves, the gre

In an Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations podcast episode entitled, "Oprah and Gary Zukav: Live from Calgary," there is a specific passage in which Gary speaks about grief. Oprah refers to a moment during an Oprah show, where Gary addresses the grief of a young mother who has lost a twin baby named Ryan: "If you looked at Ryan as a soul - like Ira, like Oprah, like me, like everyone on this earth, that left the earth when it chose, then you will have a different perspective. Yo

Jessica Love is the author and illustrator of "Julian is a Mermaid," a children's book about a gender-questioning child who finds acceptance from his grandmother. In PinkNews 's article "Trans Kids' book 'Julian is a Mermaid' is winning hearts and awards" by Josh Jackman, we read about Jessica's labour of love. Love notes that she wrote the book based on some conversations she had with a friend who transitioned in his 50's due to pushback he had as a child when questioning

Yesterday's post looked at some self-reflection questions for 2020, today we look at some gratitude prompts for 2019. Taking time to jot down our answers reminds us that even in our challenges of the year, we have found moments to be grateful for: A memory I am grateful for: A person in my life this past year who made a difference to me: A change in the past year that I am grateful for: A strength of mine that I am thankful for: Something that comforted me in the past year: S

Coming upon the turn into a new year, we often begin thinking about New Year's Resolutions. This post is similar, but instead are listed a series of simple statements that we can use as smaller stepping stones to bigger goals: A book I'd like to read: A movie or TV series I would like to re-watch: A self-care activity I would like to increase: A new food I would like to try: A new place I would like to visit: A creative activity I would like to try: A healthy habit I would li

In a recent Oprah's Supersoul Conversations podcast episode, she sits down with Dr. Phil to talk about his book, "Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World." Ultimately, it was an episode about how there are some relationships in our lives that are simply not healthy for us. Between Oprah and Dr. Phil, we are hear some common-sense, yet important, advice - (paraphrased): We tend to give people the benefit of the doubt - after we become invested in the relationshi

When is the last time you went dancing? As we age and mature (and tend to enjoy a quiet evening at home over pumping it up at the clubs), we often don't have the opportunity to dance. Last Friday evening, Kurt and I attended a lovely Christmas wedding. With the ceremony and reception being on the same street on which we reside, AND it being a Friday evening, I was sure that we would be home by 11 pm. After a typical work week, I feel the lull of a quiet Friday evening at hom

Eating disorders are a complex bio/psycho/social mental illness that include influencing factors such as genetics, personality and temperament, and cultural norms. Those who struggle with self-image and perceptions about their appearance tend to be at risk for developing an eating disorder; add the tendency to achieve perfection and/or trauma to increase the risk. An important resource for those struggling with an eating disorder is the National Eating Disorder Information C

I have been listening to Dr. Phil's podcast series on relationships. In a recent episode entitled "Relationship Reality Check: How Much Fun Are You to Live With? - Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Leading Sex Expert," Dr. Phil is chatting sex with Dr. Lehmiller. The overall message of the episode was about communication and how important it is to include being able to talk about our sexual needs with our partners. Two points that Dr. Lehmiller spoke about that I especially thought were

Today, in our ongoing series of self-reflection questions (the rest can be found in the categories section), we focus on: "Am I achieving the goals that I've set for myself?" Soon we will be entering a new year. As 2020 approaches, we can begin to ask ourselves if we have been working towards the goals we have set for ourselves. Sometimes those goals come in the form of New Year's resolutions; other times they may have been goals that are more general in nature such as "I wan

I watched Avatar this week for the first time; a movie that I was interested in based on hearing Oprah talk about a line that they use in the movie to greet each other - "I see you." Based in the future, on an island far into space, the story is ultimately one of love and transformation; it is about connection and the ability to appreciate and honour other cultures and the natural world. The fictional tribe in Avatar have a way of connecting their bodies (little tentacles in

In a new podcast I've been listening to called "The Happiness Lab" by Dr. Laurie Santos , she recently explored the issue of having too many choices. In the episode, entitled "Choice Overload," Dr. Santos examines the effects of our society's belief that choices bring us greater freedom and the message of "more is better." Some interesting facts from the episode include: Walking down a supermarket aisle can give you up to 275 choices in cookies brands; 150 types of salad dre