What We Want it to Be

I love this quote:

“You won’t see it for what it is until you stop looking at it through the lens of what

 you want it to be.” - Unknown

This speaks to our eternal hope; that someone will change, that they will lean into their potential, that the circumstances aren’t as they are. What we want it to be we hope for, and it can keep us in a state of longing, and a desire for a specific outcome. It can lead to avoidance and denial. In the long run we can’t hide from the truth forever. We can give someone or a situation grace, but sometimes the circumstances are what they are, and the choices and behaviours of others are not ours to change.

We are much better served by not rejecting reality. It is where decisions are made, it is where the facts are no longer hidden behind our emotions of what we wish it to be. This may come with grief and sadness, but it will also come with understanding and acceptance. What will follow is an eventual sense of relief, a strengthening of agency; a movement into what you can control versus what you can’t. When we stop looking at something through the lens of what we want it to be, we gain peace.