Dr. Rick Hanson is a psychologist and Senior Fellow at the Greater Good Science Centre at UC Berkeley. He writes about developing a resilient brain and the ability we have to acquire psychological resources in order to help us face the vulnerabilities that come with life's challenges. He notes that these resources are located in our body, mind, and the world around us and include: virtues positive emotions compassion and love mindfulness patience and determination interperson

In an article entitled "How Expectations Undermine Our Relationships and Happiness" by Jen Picicci and featured on tinybuddha, Jen highlights, through her own experience, how the expectations we place on others can lead to an automatic response in us, thereby creating negative thoughts and feelings instead of realistic ones. It really becomes about what we set up as our "hoped-for response," in which we place an expectation on someone, placing great trust that they will fol

I have always been an avid reader. Kudos to my mother for beginning what would be a lifelong journey of delving into the lives of others. I can remember the joyful feeling of trips to the Vankleek Hill library, of being allowed to freely choose a few books and the unending fascination I had as a young child with Mrs. Boucher, the librarian, who got the distinct pleasure of pulling out the library card and stamping each book, reminding us of its timely return (oh, how I envied

Today's self-reflection question coincides with yesterday's blog post: "What lesson have you learned from being a parent?" When our oldest daughter was two and a half years old, we moved her from a crib to a toddler bed. A cute, little bed that was perfect for her - and that is when her sleeping issues began. I don't know if it was leaving the safety of the crib (although that is my best guess), but night after night, I would eventually hear her little feet tromping into our

My daughters are now 23 and 20; full adults and no longer living at home. When I look back to the things that helped us to create connection and build a secure foundation for them, they always involved the simplest things: Having family dinner together every evening. Gathering around the table is an intimate experience; it is one where we can slow down enough to talk about our day, enjoy the comfort of food, create moments of laughter. One question we asked each night was "W

I often remark to clients that when dealing with a long term, difficult situation we hit the '6 month hump.' In our experience with the Covid-19 pandemic, that came around mid September - and getting over that hump has proved to be a bit more challenging than we first thought. With increasing numbers, continued warnings of social bubble infractions and the need to be ever vigilant with mask wearing and social distancing, it begins to feel as though perhaps the hump is now a m

Bringing us back to our own childhood, or to the many times we read our beloved Dr. Seuss books to our children: Oh, the Places You'll Go! Dr. Seuss You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself Any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go. You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you

In a podcast episode from Oprah SuperSoul Conversations: Finding Your Authentic Self , Oprah sits with Sarah Ban Breathnach . Featuring a candid conversation about living authentically, she speaks about what holds the power to change the trajectory of our lives: "There are only three ways to change the trajectory of our lives for better or worse: crisis, chance or choice." When I first heard this, it resonated with me. We have all had at least one moment in our lives that

In a podcast episode on Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations, she sits with Bishop T.D. Jakes to talk about Covid-19 and the suffering that has been created by this global pandemic. Although the conversation centers around the experience of the coronavirus, his words about suffering are wide reaching: "God has never hidden from us that suffering is a part of the journey. It's dignity that we bring to the suffering that determines the outcome thereof. In the face of our pain, we

In a Ted Talk entitled, "Tina Seelig: The Little Risks you can Take to Increase your Luck," I was impressed by her three pieces of advice that in many ways can be applied to having a healthy emotional life as well. They are as follows: Change the relationship with yourself: "Be willing to take some small risks that get you out of your comfort zone." Change your relationships with other people: "You need to understand that everyone who helps you on your journey is playing a h

I often listen to Oprah's podcasts and one of the things I have heard her say that resonates with me is: "We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Oprah Winfrey When we are caught up in the busy activities of daily life; when our feet hit the ground running and we don't take time to pause, spirituality gets set aside. If we spend a lot of time in a negative head space, or get caught up in the drama of others, we may not be connected with the spiritual side of ou

Who am I? For those that don’t know me, my name is Tamara Lafrance. I am an RN, BScN, and TTNO Recognized Practitioner/Teacher of...

According to the Webster’s dictionary, the definition of still includes: to quiet, to still one’s fears ; to become motionless or silent. The concept of a still point in therapy is an important one. Although we often talk about the importance of movement to facilitate growth, there are times when stillness facilitates movement. It perhaps comes after having made a major decision, it may be necessary during grief or loss, perhaps it is sought when life’s frenetic pace catches

It’s really all about touch. We are inevitably a relationship species and because of that we seek out connection with others. As a way to bond with others, we use touch. The science behind that comes from a hormone called Oxytocin; often referred to as the “hormone of love,” it triggers nurturing and loving feelings and helps to promote trust. In a study conducted by Dr. Kathleen Light, she discovered that “warm touch” between couples (which included a 20 second hug) increase

In a Ted talk that I was listening to entitled "Susan David: The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage," she talks about the concept of emotional agility. She says, " How we deal with our inner world affects everything; how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead. The conventional view of how we see emotion, as good or bad, positive or negative is rigid, and rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic. We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience

I figured that as we are going into what many are calling the second wave of Covid-19, we can lean into these lovely words: As the world fights to figure everything out, I'll be holding doors for strangers, letting people cut in front of me in traffic, saying good morning, keeping babies entertained in grocery lines, stopping to talk to someone who is lonely, being patient with sales clerks, smiling at passersby. Why? Because I will not stand idly by and live in a world where

Yesterday's post featured an excellent book by Dr. Edith Eva Eger entitled "The Choice." She talks at one point about deriving her own approach to therapy and I quote: "If I had to name my therapy I'd probably call it Choice Therapy, as freedom is about CHOICE - about choosing c ompassion, h umour, o ptimism, i ntuition, c uriosity and self- e xpression. And to be free is to live in the present. It we are stuck in the past, saying, "If only I had gone there instead of here..

My friend recommended the book "The Choice" by Dr. Edith Eva Eger , a Holocaust survivor who was sent to Auschwitz at the age of 16. Now in her 93rd year, she continues to be an inspiration to all of those she encounters. Here are a few excerpts from her book that I resonated with: "My own search for freedom and my years of experience as a licensed clinical psychologist have taught me that suffering is universal. But victimhood is optional. There is a difference between vict

In a CAMH article entitled " Families are Vital to Patient Recovery , " written by a mother of a 21 year old suffering with mental illness, these passages were particularly striking to me: " I think the majority of families do understand and appreciate the similarities between mental illnesses like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia and physical illnesses. They absolutely are diseases just like diabetes, cancer and heart disease – but they can be far more difficult illnesses f