I love this little poem by Hafiz: The Sun Never Says Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that, It lights the whole sky. - Hafiz We all have a light that is within us; a spiritual, soulful place that feels whole, grounded, welcoming. When we fully and genuinely smile, we can feel the light bubbling up and out. When we are playful, our light heartedness infects others. When we do something purely out of love

Compassion Fatigue is a condition that can develop over time in which a person experiences emotional, spiritual and/or physical exhaustion; developing cumulatively in those who care for others. Here are 5 facts about compassion fatigue: It is often described as "the negative cost of caring," and it is characterized by a reduced ability to feel empathy for those they are caring for. Therein lies the dichotomy, as those in caregiving roles tend to be very empathic. People in h

There is a trick to standing still. To waiting. There are times when we keep ourselves stuck, other times when life's circumstances have grounded us. We usually know the difference. :) I came across this whimsical poem that reminds us that when we look for it, we can see that even when standing still, there is movement: It was the longest night in winter, When I sent a question into space, Asking how I'd ever change, When I'm trapped in the same place. And I heard the full mo

We have all had those "0 to 60" reactions. Something gets triggered in us, our temper flares and our reaction is immediate. Hopefully, whatever words or actions that came as a result of flying off the handle, will be repairable. Unfortunately, the repair piece is often forgotten, and excuses replace an apology: "You made me so mad I couldn't help myself." "If you would just co-operate, I wouldn't yell." It is in these moments that we must check ourselves. Yes, we can't cont

Serotonin is the hormone that is responsible for stabilizing our mood. It produces feelings of well-being and happiness, and helps to regulate sleep and digestion. And 90% of its receptors are located in the gut. Because of this fact, serotonin plays a vital role between your brain and your gut health. As a result, researchers have begun examining inflammation and its link to the symptoms of depression. In order to naturally boost serotonin, and thereby reducing inflammation

When we are attempting to change something about ourselves, it often carries with it anxious feelings. There are times when the uncertainty that accompanies change will threaten our efforts, sending us back to our comfortable and familiar ways - even if those habits are unhealthy. Seems disheartening doesn't it? Here we are, wanting to change something, and we end up feeling anxious, jittery, uncertain. Why is personal growth so frightening? Dr. Jonice Webb has this to say

The word should is one that rolls right off the tongue: "I should exercise more." "I should be able to do that." "You should take my advice." According to the dictionary, you use the word should when you are saying what would be the right thing to do or the right state for something to be in. The problem with the word is that it goes against our goal to be open minded and flexible. When we hear the word should, it implies rigidity and control; our own critical voice wi

We tend to like to know what is going on. We feel safe when we have a sense of direction, less anxiety when there is movement, we like to know the plan. Uncertainty threatens our levels of safety ; it throws us into limbo which is always a tough place to be. If we happen to come from a childhood that was chaotic or in any way emotionally unsafe, uncertainty can create even greater anxiety levels - to the point where the discomfort feels unbearable. Uncertainty keeps us stuc

Yesterday's post examined what social anxiety is and how it tends to develop for people. Today, we will look at ways that we can begin to challenge social anxiety by lessening it's hold on us. The first step comes by way of exploring why social anxiety has become an issue. When we can understand something, it tends to give us permission to ask ourselves "Does it have to be this way?" It is also important to recognize that what may have started out as an association, has now

"I will worry about a social gathering as soon as know about it. I rarely commit so that I can have a way out." "Just the thought of going to the grocery store can send me into a panic. And if the parking lot is full? Forget it, I don't even go in." "I hate talking on the phone; I get so anxious when I have to call for an appointment, or even to order a pizza." Social anxiety is the fear of social situations ; people who suffer with social anxiety will report that it really

An unhealthy relationship will often strip us of our power. Sometimes, that can come from an overtly abusive relationship where the need for control oppresses the other, but it can also come from subtle sources as well. When we begin to recognize that our self-value has lessened and our self-identity is being affected by being in the relationship, we most likely know, deep down, that the relationship is oppressing us in some way. What results is a prevention of living true t

Anger - we all have experience with this feeling in one form or another. Although it is one of our basic emotions, it is often the one we have the most difficulty with. Here are 5 interesting facts about anger: Anger is meant to protect us. As part of our survival brain, anger triggers our 'fight-or-flight' response. This allows us to defend ourselves, as anger allows us to have an immediate response to threats of danger. Anger is a secondary emotion. We can't feel anger wi

We can all appreciate a good work ethic. When our head hits the pillow at night, there is a part of us that feels satisfaction from a fruitful day. And yet for some of us, the pendulum has swung too far. From the moment your feet hit the floor, it is go - go - go. Perhaps it is Type A tendencies, expectations of self that tend to be too high, perfectionism, learned behaviours and/or developed patterns that have contributed to an association that resting is unacceptable. And

An important part of the intake process is the goals section. I often ask clients, "If you could walk out of here after so many sessions having achieved something, what would that be?" Some clients have no trouble defining their goals, others will be stumped by the question. For some people, it comes down to a feeling - "I just want to happy," or "I want to feel like myself again." Having an end goal (or two, three or four) is an important part of therapy. When you come with

There are times when we are just going to feel anxious as we get faced with challenges and worries that we must attend to. Using grounding techniques for those times help to get through the anxious moments. But there is something to be said for the practice of "being grounded." It can be a goal that we set as a way of life that helps us to consciously spend more time in our comfort system. By practicing the art of being grounded on a daily basis, we are giving ourselves per

Yesterday's post touched on the importance of using the practice of grounding when feeling especially anxious or overwhelmed. We explored five ways to use our physical selves to bring our calm back to the situation at hand. Today's post will feature five mental techniques of grounding: Describe what is around you. Take in your surroundings as a way to help ground yourself. "I am sitting on a blue chair. I can feel the way the chair supports my lower back; my feet are flat on

We can all have those moments when we feel especially overwhelmed. For those who struggle with pervasive anxiety, chronic worry, or panic attacks, being able to slow things down can feel almost impossible. Grounding is a practice that can help to do that. Grounding techniques are designed to use distraction as a way to help manage challenging emotions. Here are five grounding techniques that focus on using the senses, or our physical self in order to calm: Deep belly breathin

The quick answer? It depends. We are a relationship species; we seek connection and some of our most valuable experiences are those that are shared. It would be pretty difficult to not compare ourselves to others within our social circle, work place, society. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger suggested that people have an innate drive to evaluate themselves, often in comparison to others - he called this Social Comparison Theory. Comparison is often one way that influence

What a lovely poem I came across about the importance of gratitude: Gratitude Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life

Rumi was a 13th Century poet and Sufi mystic from Persia. It always amazes me how universal his words are and how they have transcended time. Here are a few of my favourites: "Do a good deed and throw it in the river, one day it will come back to you in the desert." - Rumi “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” - Rumi “When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” - Rumi "Let yourself b