Growing up, our family of four ate dinner together every night; when I had my own family, I carried on the tradition. It was a good time to connect with each other, talk about our best and worst parts of our day, have a few laughs, and it served as a bookend for the beginning of our evening. But it is through my sister that I learned the true value of family dinner. A few years ago, she decided to begin the tradition of having "Sunday supper;" a gathering at her house that s

The tendency to avoid is part of our human nature. When we are experiencing a challenge in our lives that come with tough emotions, we may lean into trying to sidestep them altogether. Avoidance can come in many forms including shutting ourselves off from our feelings, throwing ourselves into work, isolating ourselves from others; it may result in using external means to soothe, such as overeating or having that extra glass of wine. In any case, you may have gotten temporary

A quote by Kristen Butler caught my eye: "Sometimes you just need to talk to a four year old and an 84 year old to understand life again." There is no doubt about it, we get caught up in life. Deadlines at work, kid's busy schedules, our volunteer duties; not to forget squeezing in some fun and self-care once in awhile. Although we may aim to remain grounded, and do so through thoughtful intent, there is nothing like the experiences we share with the little ones in our life

Following up on our last two posts is an article entitled "The Wisdom of Anger" by Melvin McLeod and featured on Lion's Roar . In it, McLeod talks about the energy of anger: "What defines aggression is ego. Aggression is the energy of anger in the service of all we define as “self,” ready to attack anyone and anything we deem a threat. But when anger is released from its service to ego, it ceases to be aggression and simply becomes energy. The pure energy of anger has wisdom

When I was a kid, my favourite cartoon character was Tom Wilson's Ziggy. An insecure little guy, his experience was often of the "Murphy's Law" variety; if something unlucky was going to happen to anyone, it was going to be to Ziggy. What I loved most about him was his bright side; he always had a way of looking at the world that fostered and built resilience. His loving nature and the way he nurtured both plants and animals taught readers about the simplicity of life and how

I am a quote person; I love jotting down little bits of wisdom from books or movies. My favourite quote of all time (so far!) is one that I first heard on the movie "Akeelah and the Bee;" a scene in which Dr. Larabee (Lawrence Fishburn) is helping to coach a young girl (Keke Palmer) for the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Although it was edited for the movie, I will quote it in its entirety: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are po

Alcohol and marijuana are depressants . As much as we want to lean into the argument that having a glass of wine relaxes us or that marijuana has beneficial effects, it can't take away the fact that both alcohol and marijuana depress the brain . Seems pretty counter intuitive when dealing with depression doesn't it? Unfortunately, self-medicating is not going to get you well; you are much better served to talk to your doctor about medication therapy, seek counselling, and ge

Anxiety can become a problem . This is when people usually seek therapy as their anxiety has reached a disruptive place in their life. If your body is reacting in alarm when there is in fact no danger, it creates a distressful cycle as we try to manage our worries and fears physiologically. Our body produces symptoms based on our fearful thoughts, but without any real danger, our body then has no signals that “Everything is okay. We got this.” If anxiety reaches a level that

Walking into a bakery instantly brings me back to my childhood and the memory of visiting Pilon's bakery in Vankleek Hill. The smell of the ocean reminds me of Long Sands Beach in York, Maine; my mother instructing us to roll down our windows so as to smell "that fresh, ocean air." Stick my nose in a hard cover book and I am roaming between the shelves of our small town library. The smell of coffee in the morning I associate with the start of a new day. Unfortunately, for an

Typically sung when the clock strikes midnight, the traditional Scottish song "Auld Lang Syne," literally means "old long since," or in layman's terms, "days gone by." There is a particular line in the song that I especially resonate with: "For auld lang syne my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup of kindess yet, for auld lang syne." It is at this time of year that we often reflect upon the year past. It may have held memorable moments, ones that brought joy as well as

To all of those celebrating Christmas today, I wish you the merriest of days. I wish you joy and laughter, the warmth of gathering and the comfort of sitting around a table in festivity. And if Christmas is a hard day for you, I wish you strength and courage. What I hope for you most of all is the gift of thoughtful intention; not only for today but for every day. I hope that you can be both thoughtful in your intentions to others and receive that in return. When we hold so

While Alan Alda was on vacation, he featured a guest podcast with Katie Couric entitled "Katie Couric and Sheryl Sandberg Take Over the Pod." Accompanying Katie and Sheryl was Adam Grant who co-authored a book with Sheryl about facing adversity and building resilience in the face of raw grief (after the sudden death of her husband). Some of the key points that I reflected on from the podcast: Acknowledge people's pain; and not just once. Sheryl noted that she often found gr

A client recently recommended the book to me "First We Make the Beast Beautiful; A New Journey Through Anxiety" by Sarah Wilson. It is a memoir of Sarah's own journey; it is refreshing, honest, and packed with information. For anyone who struggles with anxiety or for those whose loved ones have it, you will recognize familiarity in its pages. Here are some tidbits from the book: Sarah put an octopus on the cover because they are beasts that have been made more beautiful thro

Today marks the Winter Solstice; the stars are aligning to bring us the shortest day of the year. Although this can be disheartening, as it reminds us that we have quite a ways to go before spring, I have come to appreciate the idea of winter as a sacred time . Nature proposes that winter is a time of stillness and hibernation; a time when we can explore and realign our inner resources to prepare for a season of renewal. As winter blankets nature, so too can we begin to appre

Thank you to my friend Kim for sending me the link to an article in the Toronto Star written by Jason Miller entitled "Doctors can now prescribe a visit to the ROM(Royal Ontario Museum) through a new initiative to combat anxiety and loneliness." Eleven participating community health centers in Ontario are part of a pilot program designed to prescribe social and artistic solutions to those struggling with mental illness. Everything from singing lessons to yoga, knitting, visi

When it comes to attachment, we have learned that it is a innate process that is with us for a lifetime, and that we can form an attachment style based on the experiences we had with caregivers in our early childhood. But what is the difference between love and attachment? When a relationship is healthy, the answer is very little. Healthy relationships promote reciprocity, providing a secure, safe base to love with intention. It is when a relationship has moved to becoming un

In the last two posts, we looked at what it means to have been loved in such a way as to form secure attachments; today, we look at three other attachment styles that form when the love we received was conditional in nature. Please note two things: a) everything exists on a spectrum and although you may notice yourself or a loved one in these styles, there will be a degree to the style dependent on where you/they sit on the continuum, and b) I am briefly touching on attachme

Building upon yesterday's post about what it means to have a secure attachment, today we look at the elements with a bit more detail: -from the Webster's dictionary: Stability: the quality or state of being stable Consistency: degree of solidity//true to principles or policy//in accordance Attunement: to bring into harmony Responsiveness: to reply//to show an effect When we can provide stability and consistency to those we love, we are sending them the message "You can count

What is attachment and how does it work in us? It appears to be an innate process, present for our lifetime; we are biologically pre-programmed to form attachments to others. It is also universal across cultures; strengthening the theory that attachment is evolutionary and helps us to survive. John Bowlby , the father of attachment theory, defined attachment as "a lasting, psychological connectedness between human beings." But what does it mean to have a secure attachment?

Is not easy. It is our natural human tendency to react to other people's moods as we have an inherent predisposition to internalize. This puts us into a reactive position, which in turn can affect our own mood, becoming surly ourselves. We are much better served to be in a proactive position; let's set up the scene: House hold member comes in the door acting like a bear with a sore paw; our keenness for non-verbals tells us this before they even say a word. Is it our respons