What a lovely passage by Morgan Harper Nichols: And in those moments where the sun is setting and the house is quiet and you are weary from the day, may you know that there is grace for you in that space, and no amount of heaviness or loneliness can take that away. And because of that grace, you are free to slow down. You are free to breathe and rest, no matter the things not sorted out. There might be some mystery here, and there might be longing, wondering and waiting, bu

There are five areas of our life that help contribute to our overall level of satisfaction; our work, our intimate/family relationships, our spiritual life, our sense of self and our social life. If we are able to achieve a good sense of balance, and feel as though these areas are for the most part in our control, we feel more secure in our sense of well-being. There are times however, when we feel out of balance and perhaps one or two of the areas are not in our control as

A quote that I came upon: “Education does not take place when you learn something you did not know before. Education is your ability to use what you have learned to be better today than you were yesterday.” - Iyanla Vanzant It is in the therapy office that I see examples of this statement becoming reinforced over and over again. When clients first come to therapy, the first question I ask them is "what is bringing you to counselling?" It is a good way for me to hear from

H. Jackson Brown is an author, best known for his work entitled "Life's Little Instruction Book: 511 Suggestions, Observations, and Reminders on How to Live a Happy and Rewarding Life." Here are 5 quotes by Brown (sourced not inclusively to Life's Little Instruction Book) : “Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get.” H. Jackson Brown Jr. “Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated." - H. Jackson Bro

Yesterday's post featured a helpful tip in dealing with negative thoughts that came from Russ Harris and his book "The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living." Based on ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) principles, Harris also featured a term that resonated by way of adding a layer to action. We know and can appreciate the importance of movement forward in order to live a life fulfilled. We can sense when we are feeling stuck or lost, or when we have

Because we feel the most secure when we are safe, our brain is designed to look for danger. This was great when we lived on the plains and every day was a matter of survival; today, we live with a negative bias, which can lead to an automatic lean into negative thoughts. In the book "The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living" by Russ Harris, he writes: "Whether a thought is true is not that important. Far more important is whether it's helpful. Truthful

A little poem that caught my attention by Rudy Franciso: Of all the things I could've been, I am so glad to be this. Thank God I didn't actually become who I pretended to be Back when I had no idea who I was. What a lovely thought about growth and giving ourselves permission to "just be." Sometimes it is the expectations that society places on us that get in the way, other times it is our own reckoning about what it means to be successful, and sometimes the messages we get f

When we think about our sense of psychological well-being, what often comes to mind is how we rate the general satisfaction of our lives. How good do we feel about our lives in general? How content are we? If we sat and thought about the elements that contribute to either a valued sense of well-being or a poor one, we would most likely come up with many factors such as the strength of our support system, our job satisfaction, our financial state, the condition of our health

When I was a little girl I can remember being very fascinated by the moon. If we were traveling home anytime at night, I believed the moon was following me home. I even recall telling my mom that once and although she kindly told me that it "just felt that way", I can also distinctly remember thinking that she was wrong. :) When we are children we have a lot of magical thinking; it is why we can tell our kids that a big, jolly man comes down the chimney at Christmas and leav

I couldn't help sharing this Maya Angelou quote as well: "We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends, and living our lives." - Maya Angelou We fear the inevitable and worry about things that take up our time and energy. We also can fall into the trap of allowing our focus to shift from our goal of living a meaningful life to one in which we strive for success. Sometimes our 'busy-ness' trumps

I came across this quote by Maya Angelou that reflects the importance of trying to live with the notion of today, the present moment - to try and heal from our past and not fret too much about the future: "If you must look back, do so forgivingly. If you must look forward, do so prayerfully. However, the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present....gratefully." - Maya Angelou As a therapist, I do believe in the process of looking back. But it is never about blame,

The importance of attachment, unconditional love and acceptance is now undisputed as being cornerstones to our well being. When we focus on nurturing our loved ones with those goals in mind, we are creating space for a strong foundation and healthy relationships. But is it possible to over nurture? If we find ourselves in a position where we routinely take on other people's problems and have difficulty in saying no, we may be moving into Rescue mode . Here, we tend to have a

A recent quote got me thinking: "The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance." - Alan W. Watts. Although we have often heard that the only constant is change, we frequently hesitate to welcome it, much less plunge right into it. Perhaps this comes from the element of the unknown as it compromises our level of comfort and safety; perhaps it comes from the transitional element of change. Even good experiences (like weddings an

There are times when we reflect upon our work schedule and know that it is off balance. Sometimes this may come from a difficulty in saying no, a strong work ethic, a heavy caseload, the need to achieve. In any case, we are not doing ourselves any favours by ignoring the importance of setting personal work boundaries - ones that are created with self-care in mind. Book end your day. Have a start time and an end time that is reasonable and achievable. Not sticking to this dai

I came across this lovely poem by Mary Oliver that reminds us how important nature is to our well being: When I Am Among the Trees When I am among the trees, especially the willows and the honey locust, equally the beech, the oaks and the pines, they give off such hints of gladness. I would almost say that they save me, and daily. I am so distant from the hope of myself, in which I have goodness, discernment, and never hurry through the world but walk slowly, and bow often. A

Sometimes we are faced with someone whose anger is getting the best of them. This might be a child, partner, co-worker, friend, or someone at the grocery store. In any case, we are better served to employ some de-escalation strategies in an effort to bring the communication back to a place where compromise has space to be sought. Remain calm. Or at least act it. When someone is getting angry, it automatically creates in us a defensive or frustrated stance. By centering ourse

Perhaps one of the biggest myths that society continues to reinforce is the notion that "the more I have, the happier I'll be." We see it in the shows we watch, the advertisements on TV, the influence that we place on celebrities. Social media has exploded the pressure that young people feel to get 'likes' or followers - most often tied to their appearance. The myth that the more we have the happier we'll be gets tied to material possessions and the notion that happiness is

I want you to ask yourself, "Did I actually do anything wrong?" This is often the counsel I give to clients who are struggling with guilt. The definition of guilt as written in Webster's Dictionary: "the fact of having committed a legal offense // the fact of having transgressed the moral law // a feeling of culpability ." In my "Dictionary of Emotions by Patrick Michael Ryan," he lists guilt as: "remorse caused by feeling responsible for some offense. " In either exampl

In our last post on "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz , we explore the fourth and final agreement: "Always do your best . Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret." - Don Miguel Ruiz. If you were lucky to grow up hearing "Just try your best," you learned a ver

Moving right along in our series on "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz , today we explore the third agreement: "Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life." - Don Miguel Ruiz Making assumptions is something we all do. S